Coaching vs Controlling

In this episode, we dive into one of the biggest leadership traps—confusing control with guidance. Whether you’re leading a team in the field, managing a project, or mentoring individuals, the way you influence people can either inspire growth or shut it down. We’ll break down the key differences between coaching—empowering people to make better decisions—and controlling—micromanaging their every move. You’ll hear real-world examples, practical strategies, and a few hard truths about why control often backfires and how a coaching mindset can unlock your team’s full potential.

If you’ve ever wondered how to motivate without smothering, guide without dictating, and lead without losing trust, this episode is for you.

Hosted by: Joe Garcia, Safety Leader & Culture Advocate
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Transcript

Episode #2 Title: Coaching vs Controlling

[Intro Music Fades In]

HOST (Your Name):
Welcome to Safety on Purpose — the podcast where safety and leadership meet. I'm your host, Joe Garcia, and today we’re diving into a topic that every leader, supervisor, or safety professional needs to confront:

Are you coaching people toward safety — or just controlling them?

Because here’s the truth: how we communicate becomes culture. And in high-risk environments, culture can be the difference between zero incidents and a near miss that never gets reported.

Let’s talk about the power of coaching, the trap of controlling, and how conversations — not commands — are what truly shape safe behavior.

Talk about your experience with coaching vs controlling, how was each perceived by the field. (2 min)

Segment 1: Why This Matters

We all want compliance. We all want people to follow the rules. But what we really need? Commitment. Ownership. Buy-in.

And that doesn’t come from control. That comes from connection.

Let’s break this down:

• Control says: “Because I said so.”
• Coaching asks: “What got in the way?”
• Control creates silence.
• Coaching invites reflection.
• Control leads to temporary behavior.
• Coaching builds long-term habits.

Controlling environments often create what we call “compliance theater” — people do the right thing when you’re watching. Coaching cultures, on the other hand, lead to psychological safety — where people speak up, own their actions, and improve together.

Let’s talk about the “compliance theater” a little more…

What is Compliance Theater?

Compliance theater refers to the appearance of following rules, regulations, and safety protocols without truly engaging with their intent or substance.

It's when an organization, team, or individual goes through the motions of compliance for show—checking boxes, filling out forms, wearing PPE in front of leadership—but fails to build a culture where safety is actually lived and owned.

Think of it like this:

It’s not about being safe—it’s about looking safe.

Examples of Compliance Theater in Action:

• Employees putting on safety glasses only when supervisors walk by
• Safety audits that focus on paperwork, not people
• Training sessions that check a box but don’t engage the learner
• Managers emphasizing zero incidents without asking how it’s being achieved
• Leadership doing safety walkarounds... without talking to anyone

Why It’s Dangerous:

• Creates a false sense of security: Everyone assumes things are under control—until they're not.
• Undermines trust: Workers see the disconnect between what leadership says and what they prioritize.
• Suppresses reporting: People become afraid to speak up because they think the goal is "looking good," not "being better."
• Kills learning: Real incidents and near-misses get hidden to preserve image instead of improving systems.

Moving Beyond Compliance Theater

To escape the trap of compliance theater, leaders need to shift from control to coaching, from mandates to meaning, and from appearance to authenticity. That means:

• Asking why a procedure isn’t followed—not just who didn’t follow it
• Measuring what matters, not just what’s easy
• Creating space for feedback, dialogue, and vulnerability
• Leading by example—not just by enforcement

Final Thought:

Compliance might keep you legal, but culture keeps people alive.

Compliance theater might check the boxes, but only trust, accountability, and purpose build sustainable safety. (3 min)

[Soft instrumental music fades in]

Segment 2: Control in Disguise — Recognizing the Signs

You might be thinking, “But we do coach our teams!”

Okay, let’s check.

Here are some signs you’re stuck in a control-based system:

• You lead safety talks with rules, not stories.
• People avoid reporting near misses or hazards.
• Feedback conversations are one-way.
• Workers follow procedures but can’t explain why they matter.
• Supervisors are seen as enforcers, not partners.

Sound familiar? Don’t worry — awareness is step one. Now let’s shift to something more powerful.

Control in Disguise: When Safety Becomes Surveillance

On the surface, it looks like leadership.
 It sounds like care.
 It’s wrapped in the language of “compliance,” “accountability,” or even “standards.”
 But dig a little deeper, and what you find is not trust—it’s control in disguise.

What Is Control in Disguise?

It’s when authority masks itself as support, but the true goal is to keep people in line—not to help them grow.

It’s when:

• “Coaching conversations” are really just warnings.
• “Safety observations” feel more like surveillance.
• “Open-door policies” don’t really welcome dissent.
• “Engagement efforts” are only aimed at improving metrics.

It’s control — just packaged in the language of leadership.

Why It’s a Problem

Control can achieve short-term compliance.
But it kills long-term trust.

When people sense that leadership is more interested in catching them doing something wrong than empowering them to do what’s right, they withdraw.
 They shut down.
 They perform — but they don’t believe.
 They comply — but they don’t commit.

That’s when you’ve lost the culture.

What Control in Disguise Sounds Like:

• “We trust our people… but we still need to monitor everything.”
• “We’re here to support you… but here’s your second write-up.”
• “This isn’t a punishment… but sign this disciplinary form.”
• “Speak up… unless it challenges the system.”

The language might be soft, but the intention is rigid.

The Antidote: Empowerment Over Enforcement

Instead of control in disguise, what if we tried coaching in the open?

• Replace “Gotcha!” moments with real-time guidance.
• Ask why something happened instead of who to blame.
• Stop managing by metrics and start leading by meaning.
• Trust your people to make decisions — and give them the tools to do it well.

When we lead with curiosity instead of control, we build safety from the inside out.

Final Thought:

If your leadership sounds supportive but feels restrictive, it’s probably control in disguise.
Safety doesn’t grow in shadows—it thrives in trust. (4 min)

Segment 3: What Coaching Really Looks Like

So, what does a coaching-based safety culture sound like?

It sounds like questions.

• “What’s working for you out here?”
• “Where do you feel pressure to cut corners?”
• “What would make this process safer without slowing you down?”
• “If someone else were in your shoes, what would you tell them?”

It also looks like:

• Leaders modeling vulnerability: “Here’s a time I made a safety mistake.”
• Recognition of small wins, not just reporting failures.
• Building relationships before a crisis happens.

Coaching takes time. But it creates exponential trust. And trust is what changes culture.

What Coaching Should Look Like (But Often Doesn’t)

Too often, what gets labeled as "coaching" is just soft-edged correction.
 It's a talking-to, not a conversation.
It's feedback for you, not with you.

Real coaching is not a performance.
 It’s not a speech.
 It’s not a one-way directive dressed up in friendly words.

Real coaching is a partnership rooted in curiosity, trust, and belief in someone’s potential.

Coaching Is Listening First

True coaching starts with listening — not to respond, not to fix, but to understand.

• "What’s getting in your way right now?"
• "What do you see that I might be missing?"
• "How can I support you in solving this?"

When you ask, listen, and learn, people feel heard — and when people feel heard, they’re more willing to hear you in return.

Coaching Is Asking, Not Telling

Too many leaders think they need all the answers. But great coaches ask the right questions to help others find their own.

• "What’s your thought process here?"
• "What would success look like to you?"
• "If you could do it differently, what would you try?"

This builds critical thinking, not just compliance.

Coaching Is Ongoing, Not One-Off

Coaching isn’t a checkbox after a mistake. It’s a rhythm of trust.

• It happens on the floor, not just in an office.
• It shows up after a win, not just after a failure.
• It’s part of the culture — not just the consequence.

Coaching Is Built on Relationship, Not Rank

People don’t grow because of your title.
 They grow because they trust you care.

If your coaching style feels more like control, it might get short-term results — but it won’t grow long-term leaders.

Real coaching sounds like:

• "I believe in your ability to solve this."
• "Let's work through it together."
• "You’ve got this — I’m just here to help unlock it."

Coaching Is Reflective and Forward-Focused

Instead of focusing only on what went wrong, great coaching focuses on what we’re learning and where we’re going.

• “What can this teach us?”
• “What would you try next time?”
• “What support do you need moving forward?”

Mistakes become stepping stones — not scars.

Coaching Is About Growth, Not Just Correction

At its core, coaching should:

• Inspire ownership, not obedience
• Foster accountability, not fear
• Build confidence, not compliance

Final Thought:

Real coaching doesn’t fix people. It unlocks people.
It’s not about changing behavior in the moment — it’s about developing people for the future. (4 min)

Segment 4: Real-World Example (Insert or Improvise)

Let me share a real story.

A manufacturing plant I worked with had a strict lockout-tagout policy. It was airtight — on paper. But incidents kept happening. Why?

Because the message was “follow the rules or else.”

So they flipped the script.

Supervisors began asking:

• “What’s unclear in this process?”
• “When does this feel unrealistic?”
• “What do you need to do this right every time?”

And guess what? Incidents dropped. Near misses rose — because people felt safe to report. Culture didn’t change through punishment. It changed through conversation.

Takeaways

Let’s recap:

• Controlling environments create compliance; coaching cultures create commitment.
• Coaching is built on curiosity, not criticism.
• Leaders shape safety not just by enforcing rules, but by asking great questions.
• Conversations build trust. Trust builds culture. And culture saves lives.

Call to Action

HOST:
So here’s your challenge this week:

·         Replace one directive with one question.

·         Shift one conversation from correction to curiosity.

·         Listen twice before responding once.

Because you’re not just managing behavior — you’re leading people. And that starts with purposeful conversation.

If this episode sparked something in you, share it with a teammate or a fellow leader. And if you haven’t already, hit subscribe and leave us a review — it helps more people discover Safety on Purpose.

Until next time — I’m Joe Garcia and lead well, stay safe, and do it all on purpose.